ای گل تو دوش داغ صبوحی کشیده‌ای

ما آن شقایقیم که با داغ زاده‌ایم

What a shock...!!!

New pills, they suppose to make me happy...They suppose to make me feel that the world is going the way it should...They suppose to make me feel I can do whatever I want! What a shocker!

I feel cheated .... in a soft way! By the whole world!

Let 's hope that new pills will change all this feeling go away!

Need to see the sea! 

I missed the humidity...the wind blowing in the face..and crap...I missed the noise...!

I missed so many things...one of them is the sea!

Now ...rain is pouring down....No sign of spring any more! I can hardly keep my eyes open...so sleepy! 

He says he is so stressed! 

He says he needs to focus!

I don't have anything to say! 

I told him not to worry about me...

I told him everything is going to be fine...Is it? Any way I have to be strong....fight back...not give up! I wish life was different in some ways...

I wish I was stronger...

I wish he was not stressed...

I wish .....

Nausea...that's what it is called! One of my most fears in the world! All parts of your abdomen is forced upward...and then contractions that you can't control! It is all pain and taste of acid all over the place....Your nose is filled with the smell of puke....

I have these feelings every day recently...couple of times a day....

Just to make it clear...no pregnancy is involved!

It is all stress and empty stomach I suppose! It is so scary to eat though....as the moment you start chewing, you are constantly thinking about vomiting them out! At least I do think like that...feel like that!

Hey new year came and left! 

Back at home they are still in grief...no sign of happiness....It is all gone...and growing bear, wearing black...backing and cooking...does not change the facts of life!

Here I am ....lonely and trying to cope! I am trying so hard...but there are some facts that I can not accept or change or...

I am dealing with Nausea!