This is it...still in the lab...!

I'm upside down today....I've recieved a parcle! so painful....I didn't open it yet...it smells like home!!! pain that any one could imagine...!No, I said too much, it is

imaginable! But still, painful...

Half dead (emotionally), I worked hard in the lab today...!!! This is really painful...it is it seems that I am scaping to my work...but unfortunately, it's not the peaceful place any more...!!!

I am trying to be optimistic, but if want to be realistic, nothing is fine...nothing!

I am at the same place that I think there is nothing more to lose(emotionally), obviously there are many thing in life that I can be affraid to lose, but emotionally,everything has been lost already....and I am not bothering to try and gain more...what is gone is gone and new things can never replace the lost ones!