I cried like a baby, and then suddenly stopped! Then cried again...and again!
I don't think I am good at coping with emotional pain!
But I am very strong! That is what helping me now!

I can not stop crying..also it is not a proper cry! It is a collection of tears from random times and I remember them and then I cry and I cry...
It is a shitty day, let's all agree on that. I am well confused emotionally...torn apart...
thinking about those radioactive dyes that may go and attach to random cells, and the meaning of that binding...what the F&(*&*
I am trying to be and stay logical, like I have ever been one!
once again, Distance is responsible for every thing...I am well gutted and cannot control these tears, and basically cannot do anything else!
They were days that I could and had faith in my prayers...now they seem like lost thoughts...
May the thoughts get to the destination

I went to far far away land and I saw her!
I stayed in her studio apartment....clean and tidy..the only aspect of messiness was my present in the room!
I met an old friend..forgot to take a photo and now it is just a surreal memory...
Memories of underground trains (metro) and french speaking people creeping into my dreams!
I experienced loneliness and stress...I experienced human life as an stranger!
I am making my way through...I fell down, stood up! Got drunk and hungover...
But I am back...back on my feet! 
Writing and writing...doubting myself every second of the path!
I am scared of the coming futures, it carries many unclear and fuzzy scenes! I may go back home....!